She was so beautiful and I will love her for ever.

Friday, 19 August 2011

Time machine

It is now 15 weeks since Alison was taken, yes I count every week that goes by, I have to, in order to keep a balance of things and to know how far I have come in this crap journey.
While sitting in the garden this morning, looking at the sunflowers that Alison had planted without me knowing and then looking at the gate she last went through, never to return, I thought it unbelievable it was 15 weeks ago. Then another thought crossed my mind, yes it has been 15 weeks lost from being together , but equally it is 15 weeks nearer to when we meet again in what ever form on the other side.

But the missing her far out weighs the positive thoughts. I have worked properly this last week, the first time since that fateful night. It is strange working alone and not hearing Alison about the place. When this new painting is finished I won't be able to ask her what she thinks of it.

She had so looked forward to the summer months and she has missed them all, that compounds the sadness I feel. But I have progressed this last week, but the tears are never far away. The impromptu reading on Saturday last, did ease my pain a little, knowing that she is sometimes around is comforting. I have been assured that the information coming through could not have been known by the person receiving, hearing it and telling it to me..
I have to believe !

But I want her physically, I want everything to be as it was, if only I could turn back time or if Alison's 'TIME MACHINE' really bloody worked! Bless her.
The little video shows her fantastic sense of humour.