Wednesday, 2 November 2011
Another short post (contains some graphic detail)
All seems quite strange now after the inquest on Alison's accident, a sort of in limbo feeling. The last six months have all been leading up to the inquest day, when after, I could hopefully put closure on the accident part of this journey of grief, or so I thought.
Because I now know exactly and in detail what happened and the injuries she received that caused her death, the vision will stay with me. But it is closure because there is nothing more to know.
So today it has felt strange, almost the same sort of feeling as after her celebration (funeral), the where do I go from here sort of feeling, knowing life will drag me along regardless.
Anyway the inquest was very brief, the verdict tragic accident. I must praise the emergency services, including the fire crew who immediately started working on Alison to try and keep her alive before the ambulance crew arrived, which was within minutes. Tragically she went into cardiac arrest before they got there, but they continued to fight for her life on the way to and in the hospital. They tried everything in their power for forty minutes, but could not get her heart beating again and it was then she was pronounced dead. At the time they had no idea of her internal injuries and the fact the injuries were not survivable, broken ribs on her left side had sliced her left lung in two, she officially died of heamothorax, which is massive collection of blood in the chest cavity causing massive pressure on vital organs.
I must also praise the the police investigation team and the family liaison officer who has been there for support throughout the last six months.
So now the next six months, which includes very soon the one period I have been dreading, I am not even going to mention it in word yet, but it was the one time that was very special too both of us, getting through that is my next big challenge, how I will do it I don't know.
In the meantime I am still learning how to live without her and the overwhelming emptiness in my life.