She was so beautiful and I will love her for ever.

Thursday, 6 October 2011

The consultant

Today was the appointment with the consultant who dealt with Alison after the accident. As with all accidents you are told very little or nothing at the time, in shock you wouldn't take it in anyway. So it has been a long wait, partly my fault as I said no, the first time I was asked if I would like to speak with him, this was fairly early on and just did not see the point as it was never going to bring her back.
As the weeks went by I realised I did need answers to a few things, so made an appointment, only to get the date mixed up and missing it, so it was re- arranged for today.
I already knew the cause of death, from the basic details on the death certificate, in short she died of massive chest injuries. But I needed to know she did not suffer and at least get details of what was done to try and save her.
So arrived at the hospital, really quite nervous as to what I was about to hear, but it was agreed that I asked the questions, so I was prepared in a way. Anyway without details, she did not suffer, she actually died at the scene, not on the way to hospital or in the hospital as I was lead to believe.
But they tried everything possible to bring her back, but that sort of injury is not survivable.
I have been to where she crashed every Thursday at 6.20pm, to change the flowers and to stand and talk to her, the time was guessed, but after today's meeting,I learnt that she actually died at that time-how would I know that? I knew the crash was at approx 6.15, but I understood that she died at the hospital, but when the ambulance arrived at 6.25pm she was already gone.

I will always go there on Thursday to talk to her, but with the winter months coming it may not be possible to have fresh flowers there all the time, she will understand.

Next hurdle is the inquest, but that may not be until next year.