She was so beautiful and I will love her for ever.

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Painted toe nails

Alison had her nails done every two weeks,  always on a Thursday morning, travelling to her home town of Bury St Edmunds to have them done. The day of her accident, she had them done that morning !she loved having lovely nails.
A few days earlier, think it may have been the Sunday, she for the first time ever asked me to paint her toe nails , being an artist, she knew I would do a good job. So I sat and painted them a lovely purple.
It was the only time she had ever had painted toenails, why she decided then to have them painted I don't know, but it was lovely to do. She went to the beach the next day with a friend, as it was a hot day. She took this picture of them, that gives me such a loving memory, I'm just so lucky that Alison took photo's of anything and everything, it was one of the last photo's she took.


Sunday afternoon and I write this with more tears streaming down my face.
On Thursday 4th August it has been 14 weeks since I lost Alison, as I have said before she was my total life, my soul mate, best friend and my partner. The day I met her eight years ago, I knew she was something special, love at first sight I guess. She brought fun into my life, don't get me wrong, life was already fun, at the time I wasn't looking for a relationship.
But she brought more fun, it was as if our destiny was to be together, I know and have always believed that to be so, I'm a strong believer that we all have our destiny mapped out for us, things maybe happen for a reason.
Certainly going over the day she lost her life, a minute's change of plan would have changed the outcome, she would still be here. We used to cuddle a lot and just an hour or so before her accident, she was on the bed with her laptop, I went to her and laid down beside her, I said put the laptop down lets have a cuddle, maybe a little sleep, then her mobile rang, which changed things and we didn't have our cuddle, had we done, she would still be here. Like wise if I had chatted to her a minute or so more before she went out on her bike, the fire engine she had collided with would not have been there and she would still be here.
So is this cruel destiny? destiny can be happy and cruel as we all know.

If there is such a thing as our destiny mapped out so to speak, then there must a bigger picture to life and beyond. Maybe it was her time, at her age of 37 that is so cruel. Why do the beautiful, vibrant and talented die so young?!
If only we had cuddled and gone to sleep, she would still be here!!