She was so beautiful and I will love her for ever.

Thursday, 11 August 2011

Total despair

Alison was in my dreams for the first time last night, since she was taken from me. There were four separate dreams, the first was a real nightmare, a dream that I thought was real until I suddenly awoke. The other three just weird as dreams are.
I would have thought it would have been comforting, I longed for the day she was in my dreams, but it had the reverse effect. I have done nothing but cry for her today, worse this evening, tears again while I type this.

At this moment I am in total despair and broken, to be honest, she always wished for me to ride pillion with her on the bike, I always refused, light heartedly saying, I prefer to take control of my own destiny.

How I wish I was on that bike with her that evening and we both died together.


  1. I wish I could help you .I read this each day .I did not know Alison at all but feel as if I did.I don't even know how I found your site ,but I am glad I did.I was driving home from work in Ipswich when I heard the sad news of Alisons accident and remember feeling sadness for her loved ones.You are so lucky to have shared such a love and I sincerely hope that the love you both shared will one day be the strength that helps you to rebuild your life.Chris.

  2. Chris, thank you so much for feeling what you did on hearing the news that day and of course for reading this blog and taking the time to comment.
    It means a lot.
    I am extremely lucky to have had eight wonderful years with her, I am sadly paying the price that true love costs when you lose someone so special and important in your life.

  3. Allison certainly is a beautiful woman! I´ve just sat in my office and typed total dispair and for some reason I ended up here!!
    I no longer feel in total dispair, and that´s my thanks to you! If you are stil running thisblog, please, let me know! I´ll be sending healing energy for you and Allison! Peace and Light of the Divine may be flowing your way!